I decided to take another step forward though I do not know how long could I last and how long will I take to let u to feel it but I decided to give a try...
If one party decided to stop trying, thn that the end for everything... I decided not to care for anything and everything... Even though u may not need me at this moment... However, I will do everything I can to sustain it... Hope that my this spirit wont die off easily..
Lies give the deepest cut @
[5:53 PM]
Sunday, October 30, 2011
What a sux feeling i had when people just ask me about you... Seriously i dont know what to reply... I want to know either... but what can i do? my care is just treated as a trash, burden...
Can you guys dont ask me about her thing whenever you saw me???
I dont even her stuff; i just no different from you guys now!
CRYSTAL PANG, WHEN CAN YOU STOP IT????????
Lies give the deepest cut @
[6:12 PM]
I'm failed again....
Tweeting with my cousin and she said i'm not shy and would not easily get hurts...
Is that true?
People used to say that I'm shy maybe because I am quiet. Maybe I'm only shy towards unfamiliar people...
But I can get easily when I started to take things seriously... It just that I hide it deep inside till people thought that i'm easy come, easy go... Is it something good? or bad?
Lies give the deepest cut @
[3:02 PM]
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Dont come into my life if you intending to leave...
Yea! I somehow got the ans...
I just overestimated everything... No matter how much i tell you directly, things remain the same maybe because there's full stop in our relationship just that I dont know about it.
At times, I hate myslf... I miss my strong that i had in the past... I hate myslf why I could let someone easily break through my wall...
In the past, I could let go thing relatively easy and the time taken to get over is also much faster . And re-build a stronger wall...
But WHY I CANT DO IT FOR THIS TIME ROUND?WHY!?WHY!?WHY!?
I hate this type of feeling. If we said the one who make the choice of leaving is the painful ones thn I would said the one that being left behind will be the heartbroken ones and the pain is something that the one who decide on leaving would not be able to understand.
History is repeating itself again...I hated this feeling yet it kept repeating to me throughout my different stage of life.
The first one was my grandfather. He made me had the feeling that no one will by your side forever; just like what we used to watch in the drama or movie... and I was just 9 during that time. Sad to said, I couldnt let go everything; I am still able to remeb everything that happened on that day.
Then all my primary school friends in regards of where... (maybe i just too stupid for them to make friend with me)
Followed by secondary school NT friends> secondary NA friends> four of us, PQ2Y>eventually now is your turns, AS...
I think i am fated to be no friend and eventually become alone as years pass... In my dictionary, the word 'eternal' no longer exist anymore. There will be no eternal love for any relationship you had regardless of family love, friendship love or BGR love... Yet you will forever stay inside my heart...
I think i should stop facebook... but could i? )=)
Lies give the deepest cut @
[11:12 PM]
Just wake up from my nap, need to start study for tml test...
Had a dream;a dream that makes me feel real...
Yea, I dream of you, my friend... It was so real till I thought was real until when i woke you, I only found out that everything is just a dream... The feeling was so sux...
Knowing that you wasnt happy makes me feel like going to find you but I dont know whether do you need me anot? I dont want to be the pain for you... Yet i really want to look for you to see how thing works though i might not able to help you...
Just feel like telling you, comfort you... but are we same anymore? What should I do?
Could someone tell me?
Lies give the deepest cut @
[2:28 AM]
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Love you you...
Just found out something funny....
One of the lastest channel 8 drama character has the same name, even has the same writing in chinese as MINE!!!
I wonder how many people share the same name as me? Nevertheless we are totally different... apart from the sex, he can be a very outstanding doctor while who am i?- No one
Haha
Lies give the deepest cut @
[10:06 PM]
Monday, October 24, 2011
Do you still remember this? Do you remb what have you recorded?
Actually, I have no idea will you read my blog anot... Nevertheless, I will still cont to post...
=)
I dont want to regret in future for not trying it thus i wrote that to you... Hope you will read it...
Lies give the deepest cut @
[1:22 AM]
Monday, October 17, 2011
After a week of fight, my body started to defect by either viruses or bacteria...
Really not feeling well this round.,, having bad sore throat, blocked nose and seem like havin fever... No energy...
I found that i becoming more greedy on material stuffs...
Saving money for COURSE FEES!
Saving money for HOLIDAY!
Saving money for NEW COM!
Saving money for DSLR!
Saving money for BRACES!
saving money, saving money, saving money!!!
I found out that some are related to you... maybe u are important to me till the extend that i cant use any words to describe it... Neither you know it as well...
I decided to leave there after my contract end... The place is just filled with too many memories that i cant let it go even till now .. I really overestimate myself...
The other reason is due to the PI and supervisor...
Although I have a PMS and psycho PI; irritating and naggy supervisor, I still have a batch of good colleagues... Though we are not close yet i feel that our gaps are perfectly good.. maybe i shld remain this gap in future... yet i just cant do that to you..
Lies give the deepest cut @
[6:25 PM]
School has started for few weeks.. Though the schedule is tight and busy yet I am not bored... Will really miss it when 3 of us cant have the same time-slot in future.. If you were here, i will be more happy...When i looked at them, it remind of the days where we went to sch together... I really miss it..
Finally understand the tiredness of coping 2 thing at the same time.However, this feeling somehow perfectly suit me at this moment...
I like it so that i am tired
I like it so that do not have much time to think abt it...
I like it so that finally i can fall asleep...
However, when silence comes, my tiredness will eventually become useless...
Silence will wakes up all my memories regardless of happy or sad...
I missed those happy ones yet I emo and regretted for those sad ones...
I tried my best to hide all the sorrow behind my smile and laughter...
Heavyhearted, scared, remorseful are only feelings that i left with me...
I dont want to be a pain for anyone anymore...
Lies give the deepest cut @
[2:32 PM]
ღ My Words ღ
To all my beloved FAMILY and FRIENDS... 。◕‿◕。
With a family's member or and an old friend ...
The only condition to have is that you be yourself...
Speak whatever in your mind...
Do whatever you want to do...
As our relationship is not base on perfection but on respect and acceptance.
There's time for tears,
a time for laughter,
a time for joy and
a time for grief... :'(
Last updated: 23 Sept 2009
Tag before you leave... 。◕‿◕。
AbOut Me__*
StOry__*
ByE__*
ShOuT oUtzZz__*
WorDs__*